What makes Pete tic?
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Petesmemories/tic
What makes Pete tic? August 17, 2021 et post
I was born with a “mean
streak”, and I have done many things in my life that I am sorry for. In my
years as an elderly person, I have fought the streak, and tried to right some
wrongs I have done. Most of them are irreparable, but I honestly try to
compensate by some measure.
For such a long time I have
been surrounded by a darkness, generated by people
with unknown agendum. Some members of my family have been a major source, and
other members have perpetuated this condition by failing to validate
accusations made. It is the simplest form of judgement, facilitated by relying
on the words of others. This is my greatest enemy, aggravated by my refusal to
defend myself. That defense would only be words, and I prefer to be judged by
my actions, and my reputation. One wrong accusation can grow into a storm that
affects the opinions of so many, it is appalling. Having been wrongly accused
of killing a beloved pet, I have become the murderer of every pet in the area,
meeting an untimely end. The responsible party has moved out of the area, and
has never been held responsible. This is only one small example of the havoc
this behavior creates.
Another example: A very
highly respected friend., with questionable morals,
committed an act, which would have adversely affected the relationship he was
already having a problem with. After resolving the problem, it became necessary
for him to terminate his feigned friendship with me to avoid discovery. I think
he will get away with shifting the blame to me, but think of the effect on the
conscience.
I have done things which
appear to be immoral, or unethical, without any scrutiny, whatsoever, and this
is causing enormous problems with my only remaining son. His opinion would be
drastically altered with minimal discussion, but we are unable to converse, as
his feelings for me are adversely affected by the wrongful accusations of
others. This, coupled with our inability to agree on
so many subjects, has damaged our relationship to the point where it may never
be repaired. I feel a heartbreaking lack of respect, partially facilitated by
our difference of opinion, which compels me to discuss a few words, especially
in the light of the ongoing pandemic, which I consider people like my son, to
be part of the problem.
A FEW WORDS;
RESPECT
My big thing, at this moment,
is respecting the rights of others. I am fully vaccinated, but I continue to
wear a mask, and practice social distancing, out of respect. I live with a
person who was reluctant to be vaccinated, but has been, recently. There is a
danger we could infect each other. Fortunately, she is very careful to wear a
mask, and practice social distancing, and she disinfects generously. I do
respect her right to choose, but am relieved she finally made the wise
decision. People who refuse the vaccine are part of the problem. If the
pandemic is to be defeated, it will require participation by a large majority
of the world’s population.
There are people that refuse
to wear a mask, and practice social distancing, out of a total LACK of respect
for anyone, including themselves. I despise you! And to those who try to
convince others to do the same, I doubly despise you. I have NO respect for
you.
My son accused me of “spewing
hate”. I am airing grievances, and expressing my opinion. That’s still OK,
isn’t it? There is no “HATE” involved, unless you confuse “despise” with
“hate”.
de·spise
/dəˈspīz/
verb
1. feel contempt or a deep repugnance for.
"he despised him for being
disrespectful"
Similar:detest loathe abhor abominate execrate
hate
/hāt/
verb
1.
feel intense or passionate dislike for (someone).
"the boys hate
each other"
Similar:loathe detest dislike greatly abhor abominate despise
They are similar, but not
interchangeable. I don’t hate anyone, and if I do despise you, it’s usually
because our opinions differ, and I am reasonably certain that I am correct,
backed by scientific fact. You are entitled to your opinion, and I respect
that, even though I may not respect your opinion!
I try to tolerate people that
claim to be religious, but, scientific evidence negates all religions. I have
no respect for people that believe in “thousands of years old documents”, but
will not accept scientific evidence, verified by multiple sources.
When I talk about,
“respecting the rights of others”. I am talking about all living things. My
attitude on this subject has run full spectrum, from small game hunter and
trapper, to one who is reluctant to kill a spider. It has been necessary to
euthanize my beloved dogs to end their suffering, but I loathe people who
mistreat animals under any pretext. Even food animals, (especially food
animals) deserve humane treatment, and respect.
LOVE
All of my life, I have
struggled with one word! LOVE Born into a religious family, I was
surrounded by people who were instructed to “love thy neighbor”, etc. etc. I
had a definition for “love” at an early age, and I was made to feel loved, by
my definition. As the years passed, I noticed that we really didn’t love our
neighbors, and I started to question our feelings about each other. According
to my definition of “love”, one never gives up on the other. No matter what
happens, if you love someone, they can always count on your support. You can
make me “stop loving you”. But you have to not love me, in order to do that,
so, what’s the use? The people I love don’t have to worry. I will never give up
on them!
HONESTY
I can’t say that I have
always been honest. As I get older, honesty becomes more important to me. I
never had a problem fabricating a cover for a wrong-doing or an embarrassment.
Now, it is easier to take a hit, rather than depend on memory to keep
fabrications in order.
Recently, a close friend chose a path which bore no adverse consequences, other
than, perhaps, to offend another close friend. Rather than taking the hit, he
decided to throw me under the bus, and discontinue our friendship. At a time
when friends are scarce, I prefer losing a friend rather than trying to
continue a relationship with someone who would do that.
SUCCESS
How to measure success? I
have acquaintances from all walks of life. Some have risen to the top, and have
become “well to do”, so to speak. The ones that appear to be the most
successful are the ones that seem to be unhappy most of the time. My
ex-step-brother in law, Jon, is the best example. We were very close when we
were married to step-sisters. We did everything together. I was a lowly hourly
employee, and he was a very “successful” man in the electronics industry,
upwardly mobile as he moved from job to job. We used to talk about being a
millionaire back when a million dollars was a lot of money. His
favorite thing to say was, “The one with the biggest pile of toys was the
winner”. When he passed away, he certainly did have the biggest pile. Sadly,
though, he was one of the unhappiest people I know. I had the opportunity to be
just as “successful”, but it would have required me to step on others to
achieve this, which is something Jon admitted to me that he did, many times.
The man that married my
cousin is thought to be very successful by almost everyone, another one of the most unhappy people I know. He provided my cousin with
everything she could possibly desire, except love. She called on me many times
for comfort when her husband was travelling.
How can someone who has
everything be unhappy? Is this the success of which we speak?
My son has achieved, well
above my expectation, and is another one who seems unhappy. We don’t
communicate, so I don’t know what is happening there. Are unhappy people
successful?
How to measure success? I
have always done everything I ever wanted to do, while respecting the rights of
others to do the same. I wouldn’t say I was happy, exactly, but I certainly was
satisfied. I made a decent living and I was highly respected by my colleagues.
When I no longer had family obligations, I proceeded to enjoy life on MY terms.
I was exhausted from trying to please other people. Without scrutiny, my
actions may have appeared to be less than scrupulous.
I have always treated others
well, and now, in the autumn of my life, I can truly say that I am happy. I
live comfortably on social security and I love my little “farm” which my
partner and I have created with our own hands, without help from anyone.
There are things I would
change if I had “do-overs”, but, what is done is done, and I live with some
regrets, but I consider myself to be successful.
I suffer from several medical
issues which cause me unimaginable pain. I am hopeful to pass from this earth
naturally, but other avenues are highly likely. Other than that, I enjoy
excellent health, and I consider myself to be very fortunate. It is amazing how
many people are living in conditions which most of us would not survive. My
heart goes out to them. Their condition could be improved by the people that
have more than they need, but I don’t expect to ever see that happen. It won’t
be long before we are all in the same boat. My generation caused great damage
to the world, and my children and grandchildren don’t seem to be concerned
enough to make any sacrifices to improve the situation. The good life we are
enjoying will not last forever. I foresee natural disasters, and global
epidemics which will affect every living thing in the very near future, and I
think it is too late to prevent any of this. It’s possible that enough people
will survive to start over, after the planet has had time to cleanse itself of
our disrespect.
There is no positive way to conclude this
dissertation. I can only hope that we are more respectful of one another, and
more concerned with the welfare of each other!
END
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