When I lost Pam, I was temporarily paralyzed, and I stopped participating in overtime, and started spending time with the boys. We were all, stunned, and confused, and I was unable to perform at work. Bud Gibson told me I'd get over it, but I know I never will. I take my leave, and go to spend time with my parents, who have moved to Antelope California, and they have a 4 bedroom house, on 6 acres, paid for in cash, from the proceeds of the berry ranch, in Snohomish.
I pour an R.V. pad for the folks' trailer, to redirect my angry energy. Dave Joyce stole my woman, and I can't stop thinking about it unless I drink a lot. So, I drank a lot, and I felt bad my folks had to watch this.
One day, mom told me that I had a cousin in the area. Her brother, Wallace (Uncle Bud) had a daughter that had married, and moved relatively close. Cameron Park. I was unfamiliar with the area, and when I went to look them up, I got lost, and had to go home without finding them the first night.
Mom said it was Diana, and I was anxious to meet her again, as a child I had a crush, and she was the finest looking girl I had ever seen. She was still beautiful, and she had a daughter, even more beautiful, and I playfully asked her to marry me.
Sherre Diana 1-31-51 9-29-03
We hit it right off, and Diana, married to
Sherre felt so comfortable around me that she didn't realize how disturbing, when she hugged and kissed me like a brother. I felt equally comfortable with Diana, and pretty soon, I love both these girls, more than I loved my ex-wife, and it was so innocent, we had Steve's approval, and support.
The time I spent with the East family, helped to heal my wounds, and I start to accept responsibility for running Pam off. I still don't feel like I'll ever get over her, but the pain is subsiding.
Steve blew up his Toyota Celica G.T., a fuel injected rocket ship, and I tell him if he wants, we can fix it, so with way too much faith in my ability, we set to work, with beers in hand. Three days and as many cases of beer later, we got his fire breathing dragon fired up, and he took me for a test ride on Bass Lake Road, and made me pee my pants, by leaving earth for ridiculous air time, and four wheel drifting around corners that needed to be taken at walking speed.
We survive that and life goes on.
Steve climbs steadily in his career, always in the right place at the right time. They make a move to Miners Ravine, and I enjoyed them being close 'til they made a prestige move to Half Moon Bay. I helped them move, but now they are farther away from me, and I don't get to see them as often as before, but I make the trip, every chance I get. Sherre, bless her heart, is very possessive, and any girls that tried to get close to me, Sherre ran them off, so I go without the female contact I most desire, and I grow to love the East family.
I was separated from them when Lockheed called me back, and I missed them 'till my father passed away. Mom needs me a lot, and I travel back and forth, always visiting the East family, and they met Judy, when I remarried, and they met Barbara, when I brought her here, to Antelope, to work on Dale's van, and they met Denise when I brought her, and a couple friends, namely, Ben and Eve, to one of the crab feeds that I hardly ever missed.
Sherre and Denise clash instantly, but Diana is so cool, and soon she and Denise are friends, plotting behind my back. When I finally bring Denise to live here in Antelope, we saw a lot of each other, and I never dreamed how badly I would need her, (Diana) when the whole world came crashing down.
When mom passed away, I was lost. The whole world turned against me, overnight, and the only friends Denise and I had was Easts, and we took a beating until we could pull ourselves together, and turn our lives around. We started with nothing, and took one day, and one battle at a time, until, with Diana's help, we finally had a good roof over our heads.
Even this distance apart can't stop us from seeing each other. Denise can see that I love Diana, but she soon understands why, and in no time, Denise loves her as much as I do.
I remember when we got the trailer pulled together, but still had no power, and it was 110 degrees in the shade. Steve, Diana, and Sherre came from 70 degrees to visit us, and Steve suggests we go see a movie in one of the air conditioned theaters, close to the house, so we moseyed on over to Vernon Ave. The theater changes its name all the time, so I don't remember what they called it, but it's like 8 or 10 screens under one roof. Steve got 5 tickets to see Zorro, and we went in to sit down. It was warm in there, and we Watched Anthony Hopkins, and sweated profusely, and that's the kind of luck that plagued Denise and me.
Diana helped when she could, and we were invited, often, to crab feeds, and East feeds, and just to get out of the sun and the heat.
She realizes, one day, that my working days are over, so she gave me an opportunity to pay her back, and one time, Denise was at her mothers, and Diana invited me to come, and build a retaining wall, and excavate an area for a storage shed, lay a foundation, and erect the shed. Their backyard is steeply inclined, and the access is limited, so, excavation means shoveling dirt into the wheelbarrow, and moving the dirt into the low areas. once excavation was completed, and I looked back to see how many loads I had hauled, and I amazed myself.
I have picked up slovenly ways from Denise, so Diana has to remind me, that civilized people, don't do this and that. I wore out my welcome, and Diana credited me with most of my debt covered. I never thanked her as much as I needed to, and when she got sick again, I was crushed.
We quit seeing them as often as we were, and my contact with my soul mate diminished. We visited once or twice, but never stayed long, because we could see how uncomfortable she was.
I remember the last time Denise and I travelled that way, Diana was undergoing chemotherapy. She lost her hair, and she wasn't eating, and I had picked out a salmon fillet, and several loaves of fresh bread, made from frozen dough, and real butter. It made me smile to see her scarf the homemade bread and butter, and enjoy some fish, and one more trip, to see us, very briefly, and the next time I saw her was the night before she passed away.
I was sick when Sherre called me, and I hung up on her without saying anything. She gave me a little time, and she called me back, to give me details. I felt lost. It has been a long while since I have seen Sherre, and I really didn't expect to see Steve much more, thinking he was probably relieved that I wasn't part of his family anymore. We have gotten even closer, and poor Steve really needs female companionship, and we watch him struggle to fill the hole that Diana left behind. I see that this chapter holds promise to continue, so I will leave the ending of this chapter open......................
So, I was wrong. Steve didn't disappear. Sherre married Jesse England, and I hardly ever see her anymore, but Steve runs each new girlfriend by us, and some I like, and some are trouble, like the one that moved in with mom and two kids. I went to a birthday party for Steve, and as usual, I got the day wrong, so I arranged to at least say hi to Sherre, and while I was parked out front, waiting for her, and Steve's girlfriend's mother came out, and ran me off.
Several choices later, we meet Kimberly. Steve can't stop bragging about her credentials, but all she is showing us is that she is the most down to earth person we have met from the coastal area. She overheard me saying something about big shoes to fill, and I was shown what self esteem looks like.
Denise and I are really struggling, now. We have no income at all. We received a sum of twenty five thousand dollars on two separate occasions, a non-refundable deposit, for the sale of my property. When the sale fell through, we went back to wondering where our next groceries were coming from.
One time when Steve was here in 2008, he suggested a loan of 1500 dollars per month until I received my social security check, which was eight months away. I jumped at the chance, thinking what good fortune this was. Starting with the second check, I had to remind Steve to send me some money. He insisted I sign a contract with him, saying that I would pay ten percent interest, backed up by my property, and he would send me a check by the fifteenth of the month, so I set up my bills to be paid around the fifteenth.
I never received a check on time again, and all my bills got paid late, with a ten percent late fee, and when my plants caught the spider mites, I had no money for pesticides, and I lost over a hundred clones. I thought he was sorry he made the deal, so I quit begging for my check, and when he asked to come visit, I told him we couldn't have company, because we were broke, and out of food, and behind on our bills, and he said he would come right away, and he gave me a late check, and a little early check, and for one month, I was able to catch up my bills, and get far enough ahead, where he couldn't hurt me again.
While waiting for my 62nd birthday, and the February after, I submitted a request for social security medical to my attorney, and he won some back money for me, so as soon as I had everything I wanted, I started to pay Steve back. He came for a visit, and brought an ipad. I asked how much he wanted me to pay him back. He said fifteen thousand would cover the ipad and the ten percent interest, so I sent him the fifteen hundred I had left from my settlement, and started sending five hundred per month. About a year into repaying, Denise volunteered to help, and I increased his monthly payment to one thousand dollars. I really expected this to go smoothly, but, pretty soon, Steve is saving the checks to cash two at a time, the ultimate kick in the balls, for paying him interest which he doesn't seem too interested in, now. Now I think he has lost one, and if he doesn't find it before 90 days passes, I will have to send it again, an even more ultimate kick in the balls. The only help he can offer is for me to "take your time". I'm truly disappointed.
Just as I thought. Here's an excerpt from my bank statement
Payee (Payee Nickname):
My feelings are truly hurt by his seeming indifference, until, one night when I was watching 60 Minutes on T.V., an hour dedicated to Steve Jobs, and they talked about a shoeless, un-bathed vegan, who was described by the people around him as being in a "reality distortion field", a creation of the creators of Star Trek. This makes things, at least, understandable, but no less painful. Then I realize how distracted by his job and his travels, and I promise to try to be more understanding.
As of Jan 4, no end is in sight. This will continue in another volume. I want to finish this before my 66th birthday. I will continue to write, but I want to call this, finished.
It is June twentieth, twenty thirteen. I have decided to make my autobiography available online, and this is the last chapter waiting to be uploaded.
Steve and Kimberly have become close friends, and they are of the few we look forward to seeing. Steve dropped the interest charges, and made it easier to pay him back. Once I got that done, I have found ways to pay the interest I owed. He had problems with others he had loaned money to, so he was grateful that I had done that.
When they come, we always have a feast. They bring fresh produce, and I usually cook up something.
They are both so busy with their careers that we are grateful for the time they spend with us.