I just want to jot down a few thoughts on the insanity that has gripped America in recent months. In much the same way that tattoos and piercings became fashionable, weeping and wailing about inappropriate behavior in the workplace has become the “thing to do”.
Bill Cosby, America’s favorite “dad” figure, really got the ball rolling. He is accused of unwanted sexual advances, which, in itself is offensive, but he aggravated his situation by drugging, and raping the unconscious victims.
The law of averages declares that a certain small percentage of the accusations are false, but there is no justifying the ones that are genuine.
Nevertheless, each incident must be examined individually to determine the exact degree of wrongdoing. In many cases, there is no wrongdoing, and the accuser becomes the offending party.
The women of today, (and I generalize to a degree) are into cosmetic procedures, including implants, ornamental piercings, and excessive (in my opinion) makeup. Very short skirts and plunging necklines are all the rage, and woe unto him that casts his gaze in an inappropriate direction for an inappropriate length of time.
I am glad to be a man. I enjoy sex, and all of the feelings associated with it. I am aroused by beautiful women, especially the ones that allow their natural beauty to shine, unenhanced. I have been approached with unwanted advances, and I never felt anything more than flattered. I have to wonder how many cases of flattery are misinterpreted by a less than brilliant recipient. How many cases involve advances that are encouraged, and after a disagreement, become a source of litigation?
Geraldo Rivera suggests that courtship could become an endangered species. I think it would be funny if all of the men on the planet were to withhold sex for a period, long enough to bring an end to this madness.
I empathize with both sides of this issue. I have held positions of importance where I was required to “kiss ass” in order to advance my position. I didn’t last very long at those places. I know that there are situations where sexual favors are a requirement in order for one to even be considered for a position. This influences the quality of the thing that is being produced. It eliminates talented individuals that want to be considered on their merits. It also stains the product with individuals of questionable ethics, not to mention the ethics of the individuals responsible for production.
There are individuals that approve of inappropriate behavior in the workplace. Let me give an example.
I know of a woman, married twenty years, working in an office where she was groomed by the boss. She had become tired of her situation at home. Her husband wasn’t abusive, but had become “indifferent”, and withdrawn. Alcohol replaced his need for companionship. She felt flattered, and wanted, as her boss promoted her, and started asking her out on “dates”. Eventually, she asked her husband for a divorce, and ended up marrying her boss. This is called “courtship”. Men pursue women, and women pursue men. If the pursuit is unwanted, a simple “NO” should be enough to stop it. If the job requires submission, then we must decide if it is worth it. Many people feel that a position is worth giving up their self-esteem for, and, maybe later, they decide that it was a poor choice. This is when individuals must take responsibility for their own poor choices. It has become fashionable to shift this blame. It’s not enough to say ‘shame on you”. We want you fired, whipped, and left to starve on the side of the road. And, “oh boy” I can sue for millions!
I am not trying to trivialize what is happening. I am merely offering a view of the other side of the issue. If we were to punish everyone for having natural urges, then I should be at the top of the list. I have never been guilty of unwanted advances simply because I am extremely shy. The women that know me will testify that I am “harmless”. There are, however, many predators on the prowl, and I don’t know of any defense against this sort of behavior. This is not something that is new. It was much worse in days gone by, and has steadily improved over time.
Now, I want to discuss another side to the issue. There are claims that people are being paid to fabricate stories, intended to harm people aspiring to positions of leadership. Benefitting from the momentum created by legitimate cases, this has become a political tool. Once again, we are thinning the field, eliminating potentially excellent candidates, and leaving space for an undesirable contender.
I am unable to offer a solution, or even, steps toward a solution. It is up to the individual to stand up for what they believe in.
There are so many problems in the world. It seems tragic to me that so much coverage and attention is being devoted to an issue which is best resolved by the individual.
That’s all I have to say about that!
I GUESS I DO HAVE MORE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!
It is the 27th of September, 2018. I am watching the Kavanaugh hearing. No-one will ever know the truth except the individuals involved, Kavanaugh, or Dr. Ford. I think if Dr. Ford had a problem 37 years ago, then would have been a good time to complain. One senator suggested the burden of proof was on the accuser. (the old “innocent ‘til proven guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt” idea) I don’t see any shadows here! Do you?
To be continued, reluctantly